The Distinctiveness of a Harmony Child (Discipline)
The Traits of a Harmony Child
A harmony child is a grounded, confident, expressive and self – aware (knows what they like and dislike, are on the path of discovering their inner selves and talents). He/she aspires to be anything in life, is a good listener and knows their magic words. He is aware of his surroundings, smart, academically competent and disciplined.
At Harmony, we strongly believe that imparting good knowledge and skills is the foundation for the development of the child’s own self-discipline. Effective and positive discipline is about teaching and guiding children, not just forcing them to obey. As with all other interventions aimed at pointing out unacceptable behavior, the child should always know that you, the parent and we, the teachers, love and support them.
Disciplining children is one of the most important yet difficult responsibilities for both teachers and parents and there are no short cuts. At school, we stress that teaching about limits and acceptable behavior takes time and a great deal of energy and consistency. The hurried pace of today’s society can be an obstacle to effective discipline.
To groom this distinct Harmony child therefore, we ask to partner with you, the parents, by providing them with necessary material and emotional care to further their physical, emotional, cognitive and social development.
We are using the Harmony Book of Manners to discuss, demonstrate and practice to instill good behavior amongst our children.
To be effective, discipline needs to be;
- given by an adult with an affective bond to the child
- consistent, close to the behavior needing change;
- perceived as ‘fair’ by the child;
- developmentally and temperamentally appropriate; and
- Self-enhancing, i.e., ultimately leading to self- discipline.
What is Harmony’s goal of effective discipline?
The goal of effective discipline is to encourage acceptable and appropriate behavior in the child and to raise emotionally mature adults. A disciplined person is considerate of the needs of others and is assertive without being aggressive or hostile.
What is the foundation of effective discipline?
The foundation of effective discipline is respect. The child should be able to respect the teacher/ parents’ authority and also the rights of others. Inconsistency in applying discipline will not help a child respect his or her teachers/ parents. Harsh discipline such as humiliation (verbal abuse, shouting, name- calling) will also make it hard for the child to respect and trust the teacher/ parent.
Thus, effective discipline means applied with mutual respect in a firm, fair, reasonable and consistent way. The goal is to protect the child from danger, help the child learn self- discipline, and develop a healthy conscience and an internal sense of responsibility and control. It should also instill values.
Early Toddlers (1 Year-2 Years)
Disciplinary interventions are necessary to ensure the toddlers’ safety ‘limit aggression and prevent destructive behavior. Removing the child or the object with firm “No”, or another very brief verbal explanation (“No- bad”) and redirecting the child to an alternative activity usually works.
Here at school, a teacher remains with the child at such times to supervise and ensure that the behavior does not recur, and also to ensure the child that they are not withdrawing their attention, as they are very susceptible to fears of abandonment.
Late Toddlers (2 years -3years)
The struggle for mastery, independence and self-assertion continues. The child’s frustration at realizing limitations in such struggles leads to temper outbursts. This does not necessarily express anger or willful defiance. It is at this point that the teacher shows empathy, realizing the meaning of these manifestations.
At the same time, we continue to supervise, set limits and routines, and have realistic expectations of the child’s achievement capabilities. When the child regains control, the teacher gives some simple verbal explanation and reassurance. The child should be redirected to the naughty corner and asked to think about what he/she has done or some other activity, preferably away from the scene of the tantrum. The toddler cannot regulate behavior based on verbal prohibitions or directions alone.
Preschoolers and kindergarten –age children (3 years-5 years)
At three to five years of age, most children are able to accept reality and limitations, act in ways to obtain others’ approval and be self- reliant for their immediate needs. They require good behavioral models to pattern their own behavior. The consistency should apply not only in the rules and actions of the class teacher or parents, but in other adults who have a hand in caring for the child.
Reliance on verbal rules increases, but teachers still supervise the child through directions and for safety. The naughty- corner is more frequently used with this group if the child loses control. Redirection or small consequences related to and immediately following the misbehavior are other alternatives we apply at school. Approval and praise are the most powerful motivators for good behavior in this age group so stickers appreciation is highly effective.
Primary School Children (5 years to 12 years)
When it comes to helping these children learn how to make healthy choices, an authoritative approach is best because it helps kids understand the reasons for the rules.
At Harmony, we have modeled a small Book of Manners from which children consistently discuss and practice issues of good behaviour. The aim is for it to not only instill in the children discipline, but also good morals and values that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives.
Consideration is given to cultural differences, and adjustments are made for developmentally challenged children. It is essential that we emphasize the importance of being consistent, being a good role model and avoiding empty threats, i.e., not following through with consequences.
Effective disciple is based on academic facts rather than subjective opinion. The conclusions and recommendations here therefore should be viewed as subject to revision and clarification as research data and parental input continues to accumulate.